2014-2015, Poem

You are Ripping Me Apart & This is My Pitiful Attempt at Expression

Featured in the 2014 Fall Issue of Rambunctious

You are Ripping Me Apart & This is My Pitiful Attempt at Expression
Jack Radford, '16

last time I was WANDERING through a field of tall grass
I felt you pacing ENDLESSLY in my head,
and brushing the walls WITH your warm skin
but to NO avail, I haven't felt your touch in months
and I miss it, I want to feel REAL again,
I want my lungs to breathe I want my mind to REASON
I want my ears TO capture the songs of the wind
I want to GO to places I greatly fear
and I want my HOME to feel real and comforting
you hold me in the palms of your hands, MAYBE
I'm comfortable enough there, but I don't know
I SHOULD probably let go, I'll dangle
from your fingers for a while, and I should STOP worrying
about the landing, but maybe about FALLING
helplessly into silence, how peaceful that would be FOR me.

PEOPLE used to look at me kindly but now
I've grown sickly and I don't think they know WHO I am anymore
DON'T say that everything will be okay, it won't.
everyone will GIVE advice that I'll forget in seconds
and A big part of my life will be pretending 
that I'm not SHIT, that I'm not an entity of confusion

but enough talk ABOUT me,
I'd like to know about you, you don't miss ME, I know
but how far IN to a book are you? what have you been listening to?
THE lilacs are blooming again, your favorite flower
the SLIGHTEST change brings beauty, I guess that wasn't what you thought of me.

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