{"id":206,"date":"2021-04-28T20:33:50","date_gmt":"2021-04-28T20:33:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jdlitmag.org\/?p=206"},"modified":"2021-12-18T22:24:37","modified_gmt":"2021-12-18T22:24:37","slug":"english-growing-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jdlitmag.org\/index.php\/2021\/04\/28\/english-growing-up\/","title":{"rendered":"English Growing Up"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><em>Featured in the 2021 Spring Issue of Rambunctious<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<pre class=\"wp-block-verse\">English Growing Up\nConnie Zhang, '23\n\nAlloweth me to bid thee a st\u2019ry\nOnce upon a timeth, in ancient dates,\nWh\u2019re only today\u2019s adults appreciateth,\nWe starteth the exposition, to showeth his current position.\nA young knave nam\u2019d English was b\u2019rn.\nThat gent influenc\u2019d all \u2018round that gent,\nhath brought cultures of yest'rday and tom'rrow.\n-That gent wast to liveth f'r the et'rnity to cometh\n-but liketh all things,\n-as that gent hath lived, that gent hath grown\n\nAfter a little bit of time,\nThe boy English found a new self.\nNever did he use aunty apostrophe,\nNor did he go to get fancy or classy.\nHe stabilized everything to our ordinary\nLittle did we know he soon turned to the unnecessary.\nHe was a slap in our faces! came out of nowhere,\nHis common lead pronouns joined one in together,\nEverything too late, too sudden, too so,\n-We\u2019re almost to the climax, he really did grow\n\nThey said, YO! wassup dude?\n, Everything cool? This kiiiiddd English ain\u2019t bad\nHe just, used-to-be-a grand lad, now lookee here!\nHomie formed a modern self,\nThe Buddy boy-Bonded, with-a Bunch-of new Bros.\nHe\u2019s says: \u201coof,\u201d \u201cbruh,\u201d \u201cyeet,\u201d \u201cAYE!,\u201d \u201cnow watch me whip and nae-nae\u201d.\nThe kid has come of age-, but noooottt in the expected way.\n-Now here comes the epilogue, so quickly turn the page,\n-We don\u2019t know where he\u2019s going next so brace for it\u2026 this way.\n\nHis lgaecy still lstas, and it dlenteifiy slitl geos,\nHveeowr now the human mnid, can eevn raed tihs jsut fnie.\nAetfr tkanig oevr the einrte golabl ssteym,\nHe regneid sprmeue and bcemae waht the oehtrs daerm.\nElngish: ocne a yunog knave, a boy, a hmoie, gerw to be nthinog-\nBedseis aomlst erhtivnyeg.\nI tnhik it\u2019s tmie for the rosletuoin, but I don\u2019t tinhk tehre\u2019s a rael sitoulon.\nJsut konw his one lnog hreo\u2019s jeurnoy,\nHe\u2019s grwon a wolhe lot, but his htsiroy can get burlry.\n\n-Let me now tell you, a fresh new coming story, it\u2019s about our-<em>bzzt<\/em> <em>bzzt<\/em>\n<em>ding<\/em>\n-You know what, nevermind.<\/pre>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Connie Zhang, &#8217;23<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"full-width-single-post.php","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[29,9],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jdlitmag.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/206"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jdlitmag.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jdlitmag.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jdlitmag.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jdlitmag.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=206"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/jdlitmag.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/206\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1711,"href":"https:\/\/jdlitmag.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/206\/revisions\/1711"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jdlitmag.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=206"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jdlitmag.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=206"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jdlitmag.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=206"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}